


We Scream Because We Have Nothing Left

by RukiaK1



Series: We Scream Because We Have Nothing Left [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Sex, Break Up, Crying, F/M, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Sad, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RukiaK1/pseuds/RukiaK1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kensei remembered the boy that idolized him, and he prayed he would never truly become like him. But he also prayed about something else. That he wouldn't have to meet Hisagi face to face ever again. He had moved on...and Hisagi was part of the past. Or...so he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Scream Because We Have Nothing Left

**Author's Note:**

> This is a random oneshot I wanted to do to start my stories on this website. I personally fell in love with this pair and the ideas just happened from then on.

Kensei sat on the roof of the hideout, gazing out at the moon. He put a hand to his head as his thoughts went to something he didn't even really want to remember at the moment...or for that matter, any time soon. He wasn't even sure why he was thinking about it at all. It had been so long, so why now? Why couldn't these things just leave him alone? Why did these things have to come to him and then not leave for years? He wanted to know, because he didn't want to think about  _him_. The person who idolized him and respected him no matter what happened. And Kensei was sure that he still did respect him, no matter what happened.

That was another thing he didn't understand. Sure he had saved Hisagi when he was a child, but...what had made Hisagi respect him even after he had turned into a  _monster_  and had been forced to leave Soul Society...? He wanted to know that still, to understand...why was he so well respected?

“Agh!” He sat up and groaned, running his hands through his hair. What was he thinking about?! He needed to be getting this out of his head, not inviting it even further into his head! He punched the roof and grumbled a little to himself.  _That kid, how did he get himself so far into my mind? I don’t understand! No matter how much I try and forget that he exists I can’t!_

“Kensei.” He turned his head quickly then before he sighed, seeing Shinji standing there calmly, looking at him. “We’re going to have a meeting of what to do about Kurosaki, it would be good if you came inside.” Kensei then sighed a little, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about a shinigami. Even if the shinigami was more like them than the shinigami. But it still remained as that.

“Nah.” He grumbled a little then and turned away from Shinji. “I just need some time to think on my own I’m afraid…” Kensei stated calmly and closed his eyes. “And a break from talking about all of that would also be nice. I’m not in the mood to talk about shinigami’s either.”

“Is  _he_  still really on your mind Kensei? You just need to forget about him…especially if you are getting this worked up about it. We can’t do anything about what happened to us, and we can’t go back to how it was before. He was in the past. Now you have Mashiro. So you might want to start thinking more about her, she feels a little lonely you know. Like you are trying to avoid her, and she doesn’t like that.”

“I can’t do anything about it. I just need some time to think about things on my own for a bit…and I’m afraid that includes her not being around…I would love to hang out with her more but I’m finding it hard…and…I don’t really know how to describe it…” He trailed off then before he sighed a little bit and looked down. “…what the hell is wrong with me?!” He grumbled in annoyance. Shinji crossed his arms at Kensei then sighed.

“Fine.” He waved his hand and began to walk off, looking annoyed. “But you’re breaking her heart you idiot.” Kensei didn’t respond, he just looked down.  _I know._

 

 

 

* * *

_"Kensei!"_  Kensei opened his eyes and groaned, seeing Mashiro standing over him, her arms crossed and a pout on her face. "Finally, you're awake!" She shook her head then. "Come on we have to go!" She grabbed Kensei's hand and began to run quickly, knowing that they had better not be late. 

"Mashiro...where are we going?" Kensei sighed in annoyance and she turned to him and put her hands on her hips then. 

"Remember? We need to go talk to those...shinigami. They wanted to talk with us face to face and understand what we are trying to do...and what side we are fighting on." She sighed a little. "Did you not pay attention at the meeting last night?"

"Oh...yeah sorry I was trying to but..." He trailed off, not wanting to tell her what his thoughts had been throughout the whole meeting the night before. “I was just thinking about something, that’s all.”  _Yeah that’s all…thinking about Hisagi…and that rare smile of his…that cute smile…that I would die to see again. Wait. What am I thinking?! I shouldn’t be thinking about this! Agh. This is not the time. No never is the time to be thinking about him like…that still. I moved on. I am supposed to be thinking about Mashiro instead. Yes, she is the reality right now. Not him._ Kensei closed his eyes and then sighed heavily, stopping where he was to think for a second.  _Should I really go to this? And risk seeing him there? Should I...or should I just say I'm not feeling-_

"Kensei..." Kensei's head shot up at the sound of his name and his eyes widened somewhat. There before him was the last person he wanted to see. Hisagi. Hisagi Shuuhei was there. Why? Why the hell did he have to be there! Kensei didn't want to see him again, and he didn't want to talk to him again. "...is that...really...-" Kensei shook his head.

"Sorry, I don't know who you are talking about." He stated and looked at him calmly. "My name is not Kensei." He then turned and began to walk without another word. "Come on Mashiro." He stated calmly and kept walking away from Hisagi.

"Kensei don't think I'm an idiot!" He stopped where he was then and he turned to look at Hisagi. "I know it's you! I know that it's you...why are you telling me that your not...please..." Kensei felt his heart break a little and he looked back then to Hisagi before he closed his eyes slowly. 

"Hisagi." He stated calmly then before he turned to him and began to walk over, letting go of Mashiro's hand then. "Damn it, Hisagi." He placed his hands on the blackette's cheeks and looked at him. "I hate how you do this to me." He leaned in and captured Hisagi's lips in a deep kiss. He heard whatever was in Mashiro's hands clatter to the ground, but at the moment he couldn't think about that. He could only think about the lips that were on his, kissing him back. He pushed closer to Hisagi and he groaned a little bit as he moved his tongue into Hisagi's mouth. The latter groaned back into his mouth and fell back a little against the wall that was behind him. Kensei grabbed Hisagi's hands then and held them above Hisagi's head, bringing him in closer. Hisagi looked at him, panting a little bit as Kensei pulled away from the kiss. 

"K-kensei...the first time we meet in a long time...and the first thing you do is kiss me...heh..." He smiled a little bit and then laid his head on Kensei's shoulder, shaking a little. "I missed you damn it...."

"Hisagi..."  _What am I doing? I shouldn't have done this. I'm betraying Mashiro by doing this, but I can't help but get close to him again. I'm still in love with him. I need him. God damn it I need him._ "Damn it." Kensei grabbed him up then and moved quickly, screw the meeting. He had something else to do. And he wasn't about to stop just for a stupid meeting.

"Ke-kensei?" Hisagi blinked in shock and looked up at him, trying to understand what happened all of the sudden. All he realized then was that Kensei had him pinned to a bed -that he wasn't even sure when he had gotten there-.

"Damn it...Hisagi I feel so wrong doing this." He ripped off Hisagi's outfit and the latter blushed deeply then, shocked. 

"Wait a sec-" He began to say quickly before he felt a finger right inside of him then.

"I'm not waiting this time. I'm going to do this." He growled a little bit. He thrust another finger into Hisagi and stretched him open. "Damn it...how can you do this to me? How can you make me want this so badly...how can you make me want you so badly?" And then the third finger. "Damn it. I want you." Hisagi's eyes widened and looked up at him, a little show of tears in his eyes. He hadn't done this in so long, but just feeling Kensei's fingers moving inside of him, stretching him. Hisagi groaned and shuddered under him. 

"K-kensei it hurts...please..." Hisagi said, he wasn't acting like himself but it hurt, more than it should. Kensei kissed his lips then though and just kept moving his fingers. He thrust the fingers in hard and rough, ignoring the sounds that were coming from Hisagi that showed pain and discomfort. He couldn’t take it anymore, he just needed Hisagi. He had needed him for a long time. God he loved him so much. He loved him so much more than he loved Mashiro. He felt bad for her almost. Yeah, he felt bad that he was basically just playing with her while his true feelings were for Hisagi. But damn it. He couldn’t help these feelings. He couldn’t help what he felt for Hisagi. No, he couldn’t help any of it.

“Hisagi. I love you.” He pulled his fingers out then suddenly pushed into him, causing Hisagi to cry out in pain and arch his back up. “Damn it…I love you.” He kissed Hisagi’s tears away as he thrust into him, rough and quick. He wanted to get this done with before someone came and tried to get them to go out into the meeting. He really didn’t want to explain this to anyone, more so Shinji if he happened to be the one that showed up. Shinji would probably kill him for doing this, but he…didn’t care. Hisagi was his. That’s what he determined the second that he had saw him. That he had realized that he was defiantly there. Yes. Hisagi was his. He had been his for a long time. He had been his since the day that he had first kissed him. His. And. Only. His.

“K-kensei~” The moan ripped from Hisagi’s throat was almost angelic to his ears.  The pain had gone away mostly for the blackette and he was now moaning to the thrusts, even as blood came from his ass somewhat. He threw his head back, and groaned loudly. “Kensei…harder..." Kensei grinned against Hisagi's neck then and thrust into him roughly again, right into his sweet spot. "I'm going to cum!" He cried and Kensei dove deeper inside of him, over and over as Hisagi came. He wasn't close to being done. He wanted Hisagi. He wanted all of him. "Kensei!" And harder, he just kept moving harder and harder. He watched Hisagi's eyes roll back with a cry. "I-I love you!"

_"I love you to."_

* * *

Kensei's eyes widened and he sat up quickly, looking around and panting a little bit.  _No way...was that all a frikin dream? Was I just...I was dreaming about..._ He then shook his head some and rolled over to find Mashiro sleeping next to him, snuggled in close. He smiled weakly and sighed a little bit then and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure what to do. He thought he loved Mashiro. He thought that he deserved to be with her and that he needed her around. But these types of dreams were bugging him. He just had sex with Hisagi in a dream. He had  _sex_ with Hisagi. In. A. Dream. A dream he had really wanted to be real. He groaned a little bit, feeling himself grow harder. He slowly got up then and sighed somewhat. He had to figure this out. Yeah...he really needed to figure this out.

 _Hisagi...I need to talk with you and figure this out._ And so he left without a word...


End file.
